Yeah, he was surely a bad father and an even worse husband. But his family should've known that when it comes to addicts this is just another symptom, not an aspect of personality. When drugs take over sb's head, they end up manipulating every single cell in their brain till one day they're no longer themselves. Last year I worked at a high school whose pupils had serious social problems and many of them were addicts. I became really fond of them and somehow I even felt pity when they didn't attend classes on an exam date or they forgot to come to school the very same day when they had to enrol, so they lost their spot. Then I would go straight to the head master's office to beg her for another chance till she got fed up with me. One day she told me: whatever you're doing, you're not helping them. Drug addicts arrive late for exams, arrive late at their jobs and they arrive late to their own lives. If we're indulgent on them, we're not helping. Why would they change if this way they get everything they want?. If by being high they forgot to enroll, then next year they'll have to find another school and to pay the consequences of their "distractions" and if they arrive home drugged their mothers shouldn't let them in. And mothers would answer: oh, what if something bad happens to him while he's in the streets? Well, "something bad" will eventually happen to him if he continues taking cocaine" "
It's really hard for a mother or anyone else around a drug addict not to be indulgent cause they're all the time appealing to our pity and for "second chances". But you have to be strong and to set clear limits if you want to make them open their eyes and see the wreck in which they've turned into. Similarly, when Weiland was fired from Velvet Revolver I guess in some way the band was trying to set these clear limits: "You can not lead this band if you continue doing drugs this way" (even if everyone else except for Duff did drugs too, it didnt affect the other ones in the way it affected Scott). It was a great band, it suited him and Im pretty sure he loved his work in Velvet Revolver. But once again, "the simptom" made him undo another great achievement.
when I read mary's letter I got the feeling that she never got to understand what goes through the mind of a drug addict and how they interact with other people. I ain't saying that she doesn't have the right to feel anger, I only mean that she didnt get to find the proper kind of support for being the wife of an addict.