Why I should never be made a mod

[better2112]

I want to wank that bloke's neck 

I'll strip that bow-tie off him first 

[abaraxas]

Tag team that fat cunt 

[jplpool]

I don't always approve of threads...

...but when I do, it's this one.

Bernard Manning. 

A secretary ran into the bosses office and said "Can I use your dictaphone?" He says, "no, use your finger like everybody else"

Ken dodd of all the comedians - tight. We went to a stripshow and he wanted half of his money back because one of the strippers only had one tit.

We used to sleep five to a bed and three of them used to wet the bed. I learnt to swim before I could walk.

I once got sacked for laughing ... mind you, I was driving a hearse at the time.

50 years ago forty white men chasing a black man was the Ku Klux Klan...Nowadays it's the US Open!

I love to visit Liverpool...to see my hubcaps.

I'm glad I'm not bisexual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women.

I once bought my kids a set of batteries for Christmas
with a note on it saying, toys not included.