Drunken tales....

[jplpool]

I've had some fuckin fantastic times whilst pissed, but I've also done some incredibly stupid things like falling asleep on a field because I was sick of falling over so I just curled up and went to sleep in the long grass. Or booking into a hotel in Liverpool for a night of pubs, clubs and booze [without the hassle of tidying up the next day] only to stagger out of a club in the early hours and paying to get a taxi home. 

There was a time I went to Southport, got totally rat arsed, lost my money, missed the last train home and walked back to Liverpool up 14 [approx.] miles of pitch black railway line, barely able to keep my footing on the loose surface and waking up with about 20 small stones embedded in my palm. Quite frankly, it's a miracle I never got fried, but the worst part is that my dad actually lives in Southport. 

So, come on fuckers, I'm bored, entertain me with tales of drunken behaviour.

[The Second Coming]

I was going out with my first long standing girlfriend at the time. I was nearly 19 at this point and had been with her for little under two years. She was originally from Liverpool but moved to Ireland with her family years back and since that time her parents had broken up and her dad had moved back to Liverpool. Well it was her aunts 50th and so I decided to go over with her as it would also give me a chance to meet her dad's side of the family.

Well I met the family and made a fairly good impression, but on the night of the party the words "free bar" would ultimately become by undoing. I drank like it was going out of fashion and in my intoxicated state I managed to knock over a table, offend some relatives, smash some glass and then go off on an adventure into a city I didn't know. Needless to say my then girlfriend and one of her friends came looking for me and at around 4 or 5am they found me in a gay club called the Superstar Boudour, in a booth with some transvestites.

In all honest I had pretty much embarrassed myself about as much as one can, but just to be sure, I puked on the taxi driver.

[jplpool]

I was going out with my first long standing girlfriend at the time. I was nearly 19 at this point and had been with her for little under two years. She was originally from Liverpool but moved to Ireland with her family years back and since that time her parents had broken up and her dad had moved back to Liverpool. Well it was her aunts 50th and so I decided to go over with her as it would also give me a chance to meet her dad's side of the family.

Well I met the family and made a fairly good impression, but on the night of the party the words "free bar" would ultimately become by undoing. I drank like it was going out of fashion and in my intoxicated state I managed to knock over a table, offend some relatives, smash some glass and then go off on an adventure into a city I didn't know. Needless to say my then girlfriend and one of her friends came looking for me and at around 4 or 5am they found me in a gay club called the Superstar Boudour, in a booth with some transvestites.

In all honest I had pretty much embarrassed myself about as much as one can, but just to be sure, I puked on the taxi driver.

Haha. Epic.

To be fair though, there's a lot worse places you could have ended up in than 'SB.' A girl I was seeing back in the 90's had a gay best mate [male.] I ended up going out with them one weekend. It started off pretty tame in a discreet gay pub called The Lisbon. Then we moved on to Garlands [which is actually one of the most popular clubs in Liverpool and frequented by many straight people.] Again this was pretty tame, but then we went to some little back alley place called The Curzon. I could barely stand being surrounded by tv's showing gay porn, but the final straw was when I walked into the mens bogs and into effectively what was a gay orgy.

[Kittay]

There's more to that story you're not telling I suspect....
Dishevelment Blues video by formaface
http://youtu.be/HHycEMdV0W4

[rds.06]

Or booking into a hotel in Liverpool for a night of pubs, clubs and booze [without the hassle of tidying up the next day] only to stagger out of a club in the early hours and paying to get a taxi home. 

 

I must have been 18 and was on a night out. I hadnt drunk much vodka at the time but was really knocking it back that night. Anyway I got totally totally shit faced and got thrown out of the pub I was in. I went to walk home and the air must have hit me because I suddenly lost the use of my legs as I walking across a zebra crossing, which was just after a corner. I couldnt get up so was just lying there. A car came around the corner and thankfully saw me so stopped. He then got out and dragged me by the legs face down off the road onto the footpath. He then drove off, when I came around I after ripping my face to shit. 2 weeks later I had another go off the vodka only to end up asleep on keg in the beer garden. I have never been that drunk ever again. 

[GnR587]

About three months ago, I woke up in the guest bedroom in a rural farm house with only my pants on. I thought that I'd been kidnapped and raped, until I noticed no pain in my asshole and that I was walking alright. I didn't know who's house it was, but I was hungry, so I walked downstairs and started eating cereal until I realized that somebody was home. I managed to sneak out the house from out of a glass door in the back porch that looked like it was broken into. Once I got out, the owner started yelling at me as I was running across the field, saying that he'd shoot me if I came any closer onto his property, but he hadn't a fuckin' clue that I'd been sleeping in his house.

But apparently, as I found out from my friends who I was hanging out with at the time, they had seen somebody slip something in my drink and I sipped it down before it was too late for them to warn me. So they kept a close eye on me as I ended up drinking a few beers. Then, for whatever reason, I started running away from something, like a poltergeist. They said that they had chased after me all across town to some rural farm area a few miles down the road as I was running away from them and I took off my shirt and threw it at them. Then they said that I stopped and glarred at a nearby farm house and I said "FUCK YEAH!" And I sprinted towards the house and jumped through the glass door and ran inside. The owner thought that my friends vandalized his window and chased after them with his tractor and they just got into their cars and drove away, drunk and flipping him off.

So this is probably the most "interesting" and the most fucked up thing that's ever happened to me so far.

[Kittay]

I say you now rule this thread.

[Max_Power]

I threw up on some random guys garden gnome

[better2112]

I threw up on some random guys garden gnome

Respect the gnome!

[better2112]

I took a shit on main street, right on the road. good times

[chezequerz]

I'm usually not too crazy a drunk i'm that guy who tends to stand at the back drinking vodka, watching the conversation and chiming in every so often.

I think a fairly typical but not really all that crazy story about myself drunk that i can remember was this new years, i was on the beach with about 5,000 other people watching the fireworks and there's this person to my right talking to me for about 10 minutes...dunno what it was about the group of people we were with maybe? Anyway as you may have guessed from how i described myself drunk i wasn't the one doing the talking and i interrupted mid conversation to say "dude, i'm sorry, but are you a boy or a girl?"

turns out lesbians REALLY don't like that question...who knew 

[B.I.T.C.H]

jumped with other drunk girls in a fountain after midnight.
broke with friends into the public baths after ruining somebody's house. That was some kind of a drunken tradition back then. Luckily I personally was never caught.

[chezequerz]

My mate Steve went out with us for another friends Birthday and we all had a lot to drink anyway as the night was coming to an end one of us went home because he lived next door to the pub, another one of us was paralytic so me and a couple others decided we'd carry the stupid cunt home...we'd forgotten about Steve altogether until the next morning when we got a phone call that went something like this

"Dan?"
"Alright"
"No, what happened last night?"
"What d'ya mean? We thought you went home?"
"No, I woke up this morning on a fishing boat with the fishermen working around me and my shirt is missing, now they won't turn the boat around"



we still laugh at him about that to be honest.

[abaraxas]

I bit the love of my life on the foot FROM OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE one time, Id drank all day and then downed a bottle of Jack Daniels when I got to her place...(bit her on the foot,took  more drugs and ended up vomiting all sorts of shit into my her bowl  whilst her sister yelled at me and tried to get me to fuck NOW/off as soon as possible   (whilst I was crapping out my mates managed to start a rumble and it took about a year for her to see me again

We got pulled over on the way home, I had a lot of dope on me and it stank out the car  
I got out of the car and hung out with the cops (ORFF ME FUKKIN EAD) first trying my charms on the apparently beautiful police woman and then faggily befriending some mexican guy who was a trainee cop.

It was all pretty pleasant, but far out, booze makes you do some really horrible, fucked up things.

My life now would be a lot better now if I hadnt actively pursued being a pisshead in my 20s

[jplpool]

I went into school bladdered and decked my physics teacher. 

I can't say it was stupid though. The cunt deserved it. I'd been off school due to the death of my grandad and first lesson back the cunt was on my case about course work that was late. We got into a heated debate [well, I say debate, but the arrogant cock wouldn't let me get a word in] i told the cunt to fuck off and stormed out. I then proceeded to spend my dinner money on beer and went back to the school and hit him........

Months suspension, borderline expulsion, and even further behind in my work.