I should pay more respect to Mr. Soulmonster, in his own words, he has posted upon "thouands" of message boards.
No, those are still your words
He also has a "smart phone" 
I'll try to summary the comparison between my smart phone and jplpool: Basically my phone has lots of great features that outperform jplpool, making my phone a valuable tool and rendering jplpool a valueless...tool smile.
One might argue that surely jplpool may have some features that my phone hasn't. I can't say I have noticed any. He seems pretty worthless to me. And the fact that the UK society hasn't found any use of him either, supports my case.
But surely, features aren't everything, the price is important, too, you might add. Yes, my phone can be picked up for, I dunno, a few hundred quids today. Getting your very own jplpool requires the costs of bribing a zoo keeper and enough booze to get two monkeys sufficiently drunk. I guess it evens out.
But what about looks and size? My phone slips neatly into my pocket and even though jplpool can be considered a midget in human terms and rather average in Bonobo terms, he would be very impractical to carry round. My phone is rather nice to look at, and both boys and girls like to hold it and push its buttons. jplpool can only get a girl to fondle him if her name is Olga and he pays her up-front and adds a VD risk fee.
So the conclusion must be that my phone beats jplpool on every account.
Ah, I just thought of something jplpool can do which my phone can't, reproduce himself, but I think I speak for us all when I say I wish he couldn't.
