You've heard of smart phones, have you? I have one that is smarter than you.
I liked this. Let's compare jplpool to my smart phone:
* My phone is a great tool in my work and hence makes a valuable contribution to society, jplpool is a valueless fool that is on NHS

* My phone has dictionary and spelling corrector, sadly jplpool's hasn't

* My phone can speak many languages, jplpool can barely speak one

* My phone goes on just a little bit of energy, jplpool is a huge (no, quite small actually) waste of oxygen, pints and filthy British food

Oh, I could go on and on but can't bother. Other people can probably fill in on the list.