The Creative Writing Thread

[Sir Francis]

my god that is good.  so very tired of trying. never really clued in to know where and how to start. the rhyme is really sound. solid work! 

thanx Shadow... . Its been awhile  since I wrote anything... I like your style of writing as well... Ill come up with more soon

[Andy Rose]

These tired eyes can barely see the writing on the wall... .
This cliff lies right in front of me...  will you catch me if I fall....
All these mistakes I made ,are tattooed apon  my sleve....
I'll take them to my grave... with all the pain inside of me.....

These blistered hands of mine...graps apon this burning rope...
Slowly run out of time... . Eyes they burn from all this smoke....
If you were to look insi- ide ... you would see I have lost all hope...
Left with just foolish pride... . I slip as I slowly start to choke...

Build my world up just to knock it down....

Cannot push aside the questions why things got so fucked up over time...
As I look back I am attacked by these regrets that took my life,
So here I am this broken man who s parilized himself again
there's nothing left 'cept this last breath emptiness is my dearest friend
throw up my arms and close my eyes until I slowly realize
all that is real is the pain I feel everything else is just a lie...

These tear stained eyes no longer see...
These Iron lungs no longer breathe ...
this hollow soul no longer cares...
this broken heart no longer dares... ...

M.F.M.

Murph!  This is awesome and if you found a matching tune it could get easily adapted to a song. The last verse could be the chorus, and you got a hit 

[Andy Rose]

wow Andy, thats very good description. a sense of danger or doom is felt when you start backing away and the end doesn't dissapoint. its very good.

Thank you Shadow     I'm really proud of my style in English, so I tried to write a short stories anthology in 2010 in this language. Bad idea, cause even though I liked what I wrote, my speed sucked cause I aint fluent enough. So this year I started re writing all those texts in Spanish even though I think my literary style in Spanish is quite mediocre. but what can I do, I really need to finish this soon 

[NewGNRnOldGNR]

Alan trudged alone towards the cross roads. Three weeks prior to this instance he had sold his spiritual existence to the forces of evil in a bid to liberate his family from financial misfortune.

Over the past few days he had become aware of his inability to perceive emotion. The sun had become desolate and the eyes of his mother no longer induced a thrilling sense of warmth. He was empty.

Alan's intention was to summon the darkness once more. He had gained a knowledge through engaging evil that the greatest of thinkers could only hope to secure. The explicit “fortunes” of living mean nothing.

Alan had a peculiar sense of confidence. He whistled solemnly; almost encouraging those of a sinister persuasion to act. Perhaps his previous dealings with the darkness had developed an illegitimate sense of invincibility.

Alan looked up at the sky but didn't see. The moon was keeping a watchful eye and the stars camouflaged His curiosity in their dance.

Finally he reached the point where only twenty days before Satan had treated him as his own. Alan proceeded to materialize the Dark Lord. “Oh ungodly one I seek the deceit of your ways”, “Oh ungodly one I seek the deceit of your ways”, “Oh ungodly one I...”, suddenly, a thick pinkly aura began to subtly encircle Alan, and in its entirety there was a distinguishable grotesque figure gradually forming.

Its smile widened to such an extent that its face was engulfed. “Yes?” it replied eerily. Alan moved to respond but evil was feeling overly inquisitive; “Dear boy for I bestowed upon thou magnificent treasures. What is it thy seeks?”

The boy remained adamant. “Father of all things sinister, I have witnessed what the stupid perceive to be happiness and I can categorically state I seek no further lavishing of such wealths”.

The devil's smile reduced to a perfectly straight line and its slits intensified upon Alan. It immediately transcended from a misunderstood Uncle to wrath in its superlative form.

The Dark Lord now spoke in a hiss. “Boy, I gave you what you required. Now you only ask for what you want. Your ways typify my mandate for continuing.”

“But understand this...” Alan began but Satan duly intervened; “Enough. How dare you presume I would have even an iota of empathy. I will scapegoat you for your fellow beings' incompetence.”

The Dark Lord was feeling particularly uncharitable on that frightful night. Needless to say Alan was severely punished for his implicitness. I was dehumanized by evil and became text to discourage civilization from monopolizing the fundamental aspects of their being to have unessentials in its abundance. I live only through the reading of my story. Goodnight.

[Andy Rose]

you know newgnr, I'm a suspicious bitch and each time you post something like that (hint above) I google a paragraph to know if you're not pulling our leg. Well, I didnt find it  so I have to congratulate you cause that is great.

 

[NewGNRnOldGNR]

I wrote that particular piece approximately five minutes ago.

[Andy Rose]

I wrote that particular piece approximately five minutes ago.

then you're a fast thinker...

[Andy Rose]

I wrote this one for the last final exam of English Language and I got an Excellent  . Of course, I copyrighted it before handing it in cause I didnt trust in my teacher  . I had to use certain elements in order to fulfill the whole assigment, like creating "an atmosphere by the use of specific words" and the end had to include some surprising element. I also tried to stablish a game between the story and the reader so that the reader try to figure out what it is.


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                                         What is it?


  The bodies of the morning started to attract flies and the bodies of the day before started to stink. The odor had been the only trace the men had to find the bodies; otherwise, they could not have known. At first, they blamed the lions, the only men hunters they knew: for they used to prowl around the village at night, they either cross the canvas doors or scratch the thin adobe walls and make their way inside the Inkajijik, the Maasai’s precarious shacks. However, it was not a lion…or two…or three. They were dealing with a creature of another order…

  Soon civil servants, FBI officers and researchers from all over the world crowded the area. They suspected the Datooga since during tribal wars they were certainly brutal and archaic in their tactics. But then, they ruled them out for it was not their custom to cannibalize their prisoners.

  “Was it an alien, Professor?” She muttered filled with awe. Her skin, pale like the moon; her eyes, bright like evening stars. She was so immersed in my words that she barely breathed and, even these days, I could not tell whether she looked petrified or hypnotized. I could feel her amused and innocent heart beating in my hands, for she was easily seduced by powerful minds.

  I thought carefully before answering: “Was? There’s no evidence to suggest that it’s not longer alive. Some say it’s not of this world, some say it comes from the bowels of the earth. The Maasai call it “the creature” and that’s all people know about it. I know a little more – it is both primitive and tidy when it attacks, since it leaves no footprints or blood stains around its victims but it leaves a disgusting mess inside their bodies; it gnaws at human flesh like a mouse, but it selects and cuts its favorite piece with the same precision as a surgeon.”

  “Professor Lecter”, her young and admiring eyes twinkled once more in delight. “I assume now that you were present at the scene of the crime”.

  “You assume correctly, my dear. And I must admit that I’ve witnessed the case from an interesting point of view – for I’ve seen the victims both when they were dead as well as when they were alive”.

Andrea

[abaraxas]

(lyrics by "Abaraxas",2003)

"UN-AUSTRALIAN" aka hooks

everybody gets upset when some asshole sportsmans head hits the deck
nobody cares if you die in the street you dont play cricket or rugby league
aussie aussie aussie oi oi oi
lets mount olympia in a marketing ploy
call me un australian cause I dont bash my wife
call me un australian cause sport aint my life

[Superstick]

She’s all I can think of, the girl’s been running through my mind
She’s never had a boyfriend, so the men there must be blind
I’m staring through my window, I almost smell the morning dew
But my bed seems so empty, so empty without you

I’m looking at her picture, drowning in her bright green eyes
She’s the only one I want, my angel in disguise
I have never felt this way, so to me this all is new
And my bed feels so empty, so empty without you

My heart starts pounding faster, when I think of her great smile
And I know that one day, she will make it all worthwhile
I’m laying here, all alone and I don’t know what to do
Since my bed feels so empty, so empty without you

My temperature seems to rise, when I see her pretty face
She my sun, my star, my rainbow, my Amazing Grace
Usually she makes me happy, but now I’m feeling blue
Because my bed feels so empty, so empty without you

[Zladdi]

Jplpool my scouse friend... STOP derailing the thread.  It pisses me off as much as the people you are arguing with because i have to delete and sort it out.

[Andy Rose]

She’s all I can think of, the girl’s been running through my mind
She’s never had a boyfriend, so the men there must be blind
I’m staring through my window, I almost smell the morning dew
But my bed seems so empty, so empty without you

I’m looking at her picture, drowning in her bright green eyes
She’s the only one I want, my angel in disguise
I have never felt this way, so to me this all is new
And my bed feels so empty, so empty without you

My heart starts pounding faster, when I think of her great smile
And I know that one day, she will make it all worthwhile
I’m laying here, all alone and I don’t know what to do
Since my bed feels so empty, so empty without you

My temperature seems to rise, when I see her pretty face
She my sun, my star, my rainbow, my Amazing Grace
Usually she makes me happy, but now I’m feeling blue
Because my bed feels so empty, so empty without you

awee, this is so sweet.

[Superstick]

Thank you. But is it any good? 

[Superstick]

Jplpool my scouse friend... STOP derailing the thread.  It pisses me off as much as the people you are arguing with because i have to delete and sort it out.

Just to be clear, it didn't bother me at all...
But I understand that this thread is maybe not meant for the bashing we do in so many others. So in that sense, I hear what you're saying. Also, congrats on Inter's awesome victory. 

[Andy Rose]

Thank you. But is it any good? 

I liked it, but who am I to judge? who is everyone to judge?

to me it's a poem about those innocent crushes that beat you when you're 14 or 16. That's why I thought it was sweet.