Women are more likely to commit domestic abuse than men

[axls_sweetchild]

Right, o.k, I was with my ex for 8 years, during that period the following things happened; I told her I was leaving-she said "what are you waiting for" and pushed me down a flight of stairs. Another time she lunged at me with a knife-lets just say I was lucky to escape with a minor cut on the arm and 6 stitches on the palm of my hand through having to wrestle(by the blade) the knife away from her. Then there was the time she poured a kettle full of water over me because she found out I'd spent the night with another girl whilst we were on a temporary split(luckily for me the water had cooled sufficiently to cause no lasting damage, but it hurt like a Bitch-no pun intended). She also hit me in the face with a bottle of Vodka, breaking my nose & knocking out one of my teeth(not entirely true-it was my dentist who removed the tooth because it was beyond repair) Then there was the time she smashed me in the knee with a clothes Iron-The most painful thing I've ever felt in my life-to get up off the sofa(where I was practically stuck for days) I had to grab a handful of my Trousers to move my leg, due to my inability to bend it. another time, she came at me with a knife(again) I kicked her in the knee, slammed her into a Fridge and promptly left. Two days later i was arrested for Assault, the charges were eventually dropped-but when she wanted to fuck with me and stop me seeing my children, have a guess at what ammo she used? yep! my arrest for Assault, add that to the convictions I had as a juvenile and I was pretty much screwed.

The point I'm trying to make is: Violence does not condone violence, stooping to her level(albeit in self defence) was the biggest mistake of my life. If anybody ever suffers violence at the hands of a partner-just fucking leave them, stooping to their level might just come back to bite you on the arse.

Oh my...I wish you would have just left the 2nd time it happened....as a woman...I have horror stories also....there are just some things you need to know about...before "setting up house" with people....i hope you and your children are are still in each others lives...but if you ever see, even a hint of that violence in another ....run...as fast as you can....

[jplpool]

You know, it didn't really bother me too much-I could have kicked her arse anytime i wanted.

but you're right-the more you let somebody get away with something, the more they will do it.

[axls_sweetchild]

You know, it didn't really bother me too much-I could have kicked her arse anytime i wanted.

but you're right-the more you let somebody get away with something, the more they will do it.

I'm sure you could have taken her down...many times...but you didn't...you was the better man. I tell people all the time when talking about this subject..."she probably asked for it"...and everyone disagrees...but I have started shit...and just kept it up until he was at his breaking point....and I got what I asked for...It's not always the man's fault but they always have to pay the price....and I don't think that's right. I have since quit with that stupid behavior....and just respect him for who he is....no violence...just much love...and boy am I enjoying it....

[B.I.T.C.H]

People, you make women seem really ugly & violent creatures. I have had experience of violence but for 14 years I hit, no slapped the bastard once & that provoked him to kick me for the first time. I never raised hand on him again. Somehow I couldn't do it.The only abuse I admit of is verbal abuse & I practice it in the last few years 'cause I have no choice. As people here said I have to defend myself. I broke a door & a few objects, too in desperation. And there was a period when everything was too much & I slapped my kid  from time to time. That was the hardest of all-I couldn't transfer violence on the bastard that deserved it but transfered it to dearest person in my life. I have rectified this & I really try not to let it happen again but I admit there are times when the kid goes too far & it is difficult. You have to be patient & it's difficult. Nobody is perfect & you always pay a price. Sometimes it is too high.
Funnily since I stopped being a victim & became an abuser (shouting & cursing at the top of my voice most of the time) the physical violence has stopped more or less. It's not what it used to be. We swear like mad at each other of course.
 And at last I found the will to leave the bastard & now we are seperated. Hope to get a divorce soon. But we have a kid & we have to keep in touch.

Oh my...I wish you would have just left the 2nd time it happened....as a woman...I have horror stories also....there are just some things you need to know about...before "setting up house" with people....i hope you and your children are are still in each others lives...but if you ever see, even a hint of that violence in another ....run...as fast as you can....

axls_sweetchild, nobody is ensured against being violent or ending up with a violent partner for the second time...It's human nature......It happens...Both you & your partner have to try to understand the problem & to work together to solve it in the best possible way....It may work......It may not....

I'm sure you could have taken her down...many times...but you didn't...you was the better man. I tell people all the time when talking about this subject..."she probably asked for it"...and everyone disagrees...but I have started shit...and just kept it up until he was at his breaking point....and I got what I asked for...It's not always the man's fault but they always have to pay the price....and I don't think that's right. I have since quit with that stupid behavior....and just respect him for who he is....no violence...just much love...and boy am I enjoying it....

sorry, but jplpool said that he was violent too.... There were charges against him... He wasn't the better man. There is no better man in violent situations... There are just furious & miserable people...... I don't agrree that men have always to pay the price.... All parties pay a price...
axls_sweetchild it's good that you realized your behaviour was stupid & now respect the man. I have always stuck to the motto make love not war    it is  always less hurtful & more pleasant 

[jplpool]

sorry, but jplpool said that he was violent too.... There were charges against him... He wasn't the better man.

WTF are you on about? Yes there was A charge against me because I kicked the bitch and threw her into a fridge because she was coming at me with a knife-I knew how dangerous she was, so I really had no choice.

If she told the truth about the incident to the Police, they would have laughed at her. Instead-she told the police that it was an unprovoked attack, so please learn to read properly.

I'm not making women out to be anything I'm talking about my own personal experiences with a jealous, manipulative, violent woman.

[axls_sweetchild]

axls_sweetchild it's good that you realized your behaviour was stupid & now respect the man. I have always stuck to the motto make love not war    it is  always less hurtful & more pleasant 

I'm in a great new relationship......w ithout no violence from either of us...just love....and
You got that one right...make love, not war...Much more pleasure.....

[B.I.T.C.H]

WTF are you on about? Yes there was A charge against me because I kicked the bitch and threw her into a fridge because she was coming at me with a knife-I knew how dangerous she was, so I really had no choice.

If she told the truth about the incident to the Police, they would have laughed at her. Instead-she told the police that it was an unprovoked attack, so please learn to read properly.

I'm not making women out to be anything I'm talking about my own personal experiences with a jealous, manipulative, violent woman.

You know jplpool excuse is like ass-everybody has one. And IMO there is always a choice. She was violent.. She provoked you...You were violent in return even if it was self defence... That are the facts for me. I'm not accusing neither excusing either of you..You have to take your responsibility.. She has to take hers.. But it usually doesn't work like this... Every party think they are innocent....I'm sure your wife had a very good excuse for her behaviour...Maybe she even believes what she told the police (I'm not saying it is true of course).. Being objective is very difficult...
Your wife sounds likee a really nasty person & you did the only right thing-leave her..

[jplpool]

You know jplpool excuse is like ass-everybody has one. And IMO there is always a choice. She was violent.. She provoked you...You were violent in return even if it was self defence... That are the facts for me. I'm not accusing neither excusing either of you..You have to take your responsibility.. She has to take hers.. But it usually doesn't work like this... Every party think they are innocent....I'm sure your wife had a very good excuse for her behaviour...Maybe she even believes what she told the police (I'm not saying it is true of course).. Being objective is very difficult...
Your wife sounds likee a really nasty person & you did the only right thing-leave her..

What?

First of all, if somebody comes at you with a knife, the law says you are allowed to take whatever actions are necessary to protect yourself.

Secondly, I don't have to make up excuses to appease anybody on this forum, certainly not fucking you. because whilst there's many people here I get along with, you're are a million miles away from being one of them people. It's not like I was called out on this subject, I made the choice to share my experiences, so exactly why you think I have to make excuses is totally fucking beyond me.

Well done you just earned yourself a nomination in the 2010 awards-Dumbass Of The Year category.

[B.I.T.C.H]

What?

First of all, if somebody comes at you with a knife, the law says you are allowed to take whatever actions are necessary to protect yourself.

Secondly, I don't have to make up excuses to appease anybody on this forum, certainly not fucking you. because whilst there's many people here I get along with, you're are a million miles away from being one of them people. It's not like I was called out on this subject, I made the choice to share my experiences, so exactly why you think I have to make excuses is totally fucking beyond me.

Well done you just earned yourself a nomination in the 2010 awards-Dumbass Of The Year category.

I think you really have a problem but that is your problem not mine. I was just stating my opinion. I won't make excuses for that neither I want you to excuse yourself for anything. Maybe you haven't read my post well, too. I'm putting a stop that that stupid argument.
& thank you for the nomination. A nice one.

[jplpool]

And what fucking problem would that be? Dumbass....believe me that's not a compliment!

[B.I.T.C.H]

I know very well that dumbass is not a compliment & I don't feel like discussing your problems or whatever You are too rude for my liking

[jplpool]

I'm rude? I wasn't the one casting aspersions. But now I'm going to.....first up I've never taken my problems out on a child  -so take a long hard look in the mirror before you start throwing accusations around.

And if me being prepared to physically defend myself against some psycho bitch trying to stab me is a problem, then it's a problem I'm glad to have, you fucking retard.

[Andy Rose]

Well this not the tendency in South America. Right now in Argentina there’s a new word: femalecide, to talk about women’s murders… there’s a lot of gender violence going on nowadays and kinda once a week you hear about a new case of a woman who was murdered by her ex boyfriend/husband.

Right, o.k, I was with my ex for 8 years, during that period the following things happened; I told her I was leaving-she said "what are you waiting for" and pushed me down a flight of stairs. Another time she lunged at me with a knife-lets just say I was lucky to escape with a minor cut on the arm and 6 stitches on the palm of my hand through having to wrestle(by the blade) the knife away from her. Then there was the time she poured a kettle full of water over me because she found out I'd spent the night with another girl whilst we were on a temporary split(luckily for me the water had cooled sufficiently to cause no lasting damage, but it hurt like a Bitch-no pun intended). She also hit me in the face with a bottle of Vodka, breaking my nose & knocking out one of my teeth(not entirely true-it was my dentist who removed the tooth because it was beyond repair) Then there was the time she smashed me in the knee with a clothes Iron-The most painful thing I've ever felt in my life-to get up off the sofa(where I was practically stuck for days) I had to grab a handful of my Trousers to move my leg, due to my inability to bend it. another time, she came at me with a knife(again) I kicked her in the knee, slammed her into a Fridge and promptly left. Two days later i was arrested for Assault, the charges were eventually dropped-but when she wanted to fuck with me and stop me seeing my children, have a guess at what ammo she used? yep! my arrest for Assault, add that to the convictions I had as a juvenile and I was pretty much screwed.
 

You should’ve called the police. Your children run the same risks as you did living with a woman like that. And even if you were just defending yourself, seeing such fights must have been horrible for the kids… when things like this begin the best thing to do is to take legal actions and stop it.

People, you make women seem really ugly & violent creatures. I have had experience of violence but for 14 years I hit, no slapped the bastard once & that provoked him to kick me for the first time. I never raised hand on him again. Somehow I couldn't do it.The only abuse I admit of is verbal abuse & I practice it in the last few years 'cause I have no choice. As people here said I have to defend myself. I broke a door & a few objects, too in desperation. And there was a period when everything was too much & I slapped my kid  from time to time. That was the hardest of all-I couldn't transfer violence on the bastard that deserved it but transfered it to dearest person in my life. I have rectified this & I really try not to let it happen again but I admit there are times when the kid goes too far & it is difficult. You have to be patient & it's difficult. Nobody is perfect & you always pay a price. Sometimes it is too high.
Funnily since I stopped being a victim & became an abuser (shouting & cursing at the top of my voice most of the time) the physical violence has stopped more or less. It's not what it used to be. We swear like mad at each other of course.
 And at last I found the will to leave the bastard & now we are seperated. Hope to get a divorce soon. But we have a kid & we have to keep in touch.

Im terrified of being like that in the future. I grew up in an abusive home too and every now and then I see in myself certain resemblance to everything I hated from that period . That’s why I think going to therapy is good for people, it helps you to channel all that rage and cope with problems in a healthy way. Try to change now that your son is young, cause children love their parents and they tend to forget or forgive… you might beat him today and next week he’ll be hugging you again. But when violence doesn’t stop that may lead to a permanent disconnection, and someday he’ll stop forgiving, stop forgetting and you’ll become a stranger he has to put up with rather than his mother.  I’m 24 years old now, and sometimes I feel like a cunt for not feeling one hint of love for a certain individual…

I'm not making women out to be anything I'm talking about my own personal experiences with a jealous, manipulative, violent woman.

That’s why it’s not good to discuss personal issues on the internet. Only you know better and when others start judging , making assumptions as if they knew who you are, it gets on your nerves, doesn’t it? 

[jplpool]

You should’ve called the police. Your children run the same risks as you did living with a woman like that. And even if you were just defending yourself, seeing such fights must have been horrible for the kids… when things like this begin the best thing to do is to take legal actions and stop it.

Well the thing is she was my kids mother-so I didn't want it to come to that at the the time(calling the Police) although in hindsight, I wish I had.

The kids were never in danger-her violence stemmed from jealousyy & a need to control me, all but one of the incidents started with arguements about me going for a night out with either family or friends, these arguments would happen before I went out, when I got back the paranoia and questioning would really kick off, and that's when she would get violent(but the kids would always be in bed by that time-so they never witnessed what happened)

That’s why it’s not good to discuss personal issues on the internet. Only you know better and when others start judging , making assumptions as if they knew who you are, it gets on your nerves, doesn’t it? 

well the thing is-it's ancient history to me now- I have no problem talking about. I didn't expect some half-witted arsehole to come along and tell me I was making up excuses for something I fucking bothered to share voluntarily  and yes it's very fucking annoying-I can honestly say that not one person on this forum has ever pissed me off as much as that stupid fucker!-me & fan had our moments and I can say the same for Explosivo & AJH, but in all 3 of them cases I gave as good as I got-none of them tried an unprovoked & unwarranted character assasination on me for being honest about something-like that stupid fucker has tried in this thread

[B.I.T.C.H]

Well this not the tendency in South America. Right now in Argentina there’s a new word: femalecide, to talk about women’s murders… there’s a lot of gender violence going on nowadays and kinda once a week you hear about a new case of a woman who was murdered by her ex boyfriend/husband.

You should’ve called the police. Your children run the same risks as you did living with a woman like that. And even if you were just defending yourself, seeing such fights must have been horrible for the kids… when things like this begin the best thing to do is to take legal actions and stop it.

Im terrified of being like that in the future. I grew up in an abusive home too and every now and then I see in myself certain resemblance to everything I hated from that period . That’s why I think going to therapy is good for people, it helps you to channel all that rage and cope with problems in a healthy way. Try to change now that your son is young, cause children love their parents and they tend to forget or forgive… you might beat him today and next week he’ll be hugging you again. But when violence doesn’t stop that may lead to a permanent disconnection, and someday he’ll stop forgiving, stop forgetting and you’ll become a stranger he has to put up with rather than his mother.  I’m 24 years old now, and sometimes I feel like a cunt for not feeling one hint of love for a certain individual…

That’s why it’s not good to discuss personal issues on the internet. Only you know better and when others start judging , making assumptions as if they knew who you are, it gets on your nerves, doesn’t it? 

Realization that this is not right is the first step. A lot of my friends with kids don't consider it wrong to  slap their kids on the bottom from time to time. I'm from BG & that is not crime here. We shout at kids a lot here, too. But it's wrong. I'll really try hard not to allow to disconnect from my kid & I'll do anything possible not to hurt him in any way. Of course I searched help. I went to therapy several years ago. & it helped a lot because the therapist made me realize that I don't have to blame myself, that my behaviour is normal & it's very easy to change it. I talked to my doctor at length about that, too. She thinks that I can handle this by myself.

& about discussing personal problems on the net you are absolutely right of course.