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Author Topic: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste  (Read 19975 times)

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rams71

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #375 on: January 20, 2012, 02:25:00 PM »
Injury and accident insurance claim adverts are b*llocks.
When next doors 18 year old daughter cut herself on our fence, they told me to take some pictures of her gash, and now i'm the one who ends up in F*cking court.
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The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #376 on: January 20, 2012, 05:38:57 PM »
Quote from: rams71 on January 20, 2012, 02:25:00 PM
Injury and accident insurance claim adverts are b*llocks.
When next doors 18 year old daughter cut herself on our fence, they told me to take some pictures of her gash, and now i'm the one who ends up in F*cking court.

 :lol: :thumbsup:




Two girls one cup has scarred me for life.

I can't change my daughters nappy without getting hard.
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jplpool

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #377 on: January 20, 2012, 07:18:06 PM »
Quote from: rams71 on January 20, 2012, 02:25:00 PM
Injury and accident insurance claim adverts are b*llocks.
When next doors 18 year old daughter cut herself on our fence, they told me to take some pictures of her gash, and now i'm the one who ends up in F*cking court.

Fuckin' ace. :bow:

I love the word gash.
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jplpool

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #378 on: January 20, 2012, 08:48:42 PM »
In keeping with the "gash" theme can I just offer this phrase.......

Axe wound.

 :bow:

Nothing better than a good old axe wound.
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The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #379 on: January 20, 2012, 09:38:55 PM »
I may own a £5,000,000 company, but I still struggle to put food on the table for my family.

Bloody Parkinson's.
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The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #380 on: January 22, 2012, 07:05:56 PM »
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GnR587

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #381 on: January 24, 2012, 02:33:36 AM »
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The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #382 on: January 24, 2012, 02:45:48 AM »
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The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #383 on: January 25, 2012, 05:53:07 PM »
I may be a racist but there are worse things I could be... like a nigger for example
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Max_Power

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #384 on: January 26, 2012, 10:38:27 PM »
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Mathematical.

The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #385 on: January 27, 2012, 01:38:05 AM »
Quote from: Max_Power on January 26, 2012, 10:38:27 PM
http://r721.livejournal.com/10526.html

You're welcome

Seen that a few months back. My sister's fiancée is into all his aviation and shit and showed me it. Pretty sick, I like it  :banana
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The Second Coming

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #386 on: January 27, 2012, 02:15:04 AM »
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rams71

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #387 on: January 27, 2012, 11:02:30 AM »
When my son came in from school, I said, "You'd better sit down, I've got some good and bad news."

"What's the bad news?" he asked.

I said, "Your mum was in a multi car pile up, and everyone involved was killed."

He threw his arms around me, crying, and said, "What's the good news, dad?"

I said, "Your grandmother was with her in the car."
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when all is said and done
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rams71

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #388 on: January 27, 2012, 11:03:27 AM »
I was at the hospital today when the doctor said "Mr Smith, your wife is comfortable."

"I thought she was in a coma and in critical condition " I said bemused.

"She is" he replied. "but she's so fat, me and the other doctors use her like a beanbag."
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rams71

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Re: The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste
« Reply #389 on: January 27, 2012, 11:05:17 AM »
I asked a pretty, young, homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.

The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.
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when all is said and done
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