The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste

[DJ Axl]

What do you call a boatload of niggers going over a waterfall?
A chocolate fountain!



What do you call a lesbian eskimo?
A Klondike

2 whales overturn a ship using their blow holes. Shall we eat the crew asks Mr Whale? Absolutely not, said Mrs Whale. I do blow jobs but i don't swallow seamen!!

[DJ Axl]

- There is a nigger and a Mexican in a car. Who is driving?
- Nethier, the cop is.

[jplpool]

 I accidentally saw my Dad performing oral sex last night. I told him the blindfold wasn't tight enough

 I went to a charity event for women born without legs. Should have seen the dance floor, it was crawling with fanny!

 I was sucking off my new Thai bride last night, when I thought.........Han g on a fuckin' minute.

 Pakis are like empty coke cans in the street. They haven't done nothing wrong, but every time you see one, you just want to kick the fucker!!

Having sex with a council estate girl, there's nothing worse than
looking down and seeing a split condom hanging off your knob, especially when you weren't wearing one when you started

[Dont Cry Axl]

having sex with a council estate girl, there's nothing worse than
looking down and seeing a split condom hanging off your knob, especially when you weren't wearing one when you started

[seely]

Having sex with a council estate girl, there's nothing worse than
looking down and seeing a split condom hanging off your knob, especially when you weren't wearing one when you started

Good god 

[jplpool]

I got my wife a car for her birthday ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want something that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So I come back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"

[DJ Axl]

I got my wife a car for her birthday ...

"I don't like it" she says, "I want something that goes from 0-140 in 3 seconds."

So I come back with a set of bathroom scales and says "stand on that you fat fucker!"

[The Second Coming]

My wife gets really annoyed when I use the word 'cunt'.

I suppose she's got a point, I really should make the effort to learn her mother's real name.

[Dont Cry Axl]

 

[The Second Coming]

When I'm bored, I like to switch the baby monitors on and make pretend crying noises into the one upstairs.

My wife's never seen the funny side though, especially since the baby died of cot death

[ronws]

I dropped my pants and my wife said, "Ha! Who are you going to please with THAT?"

I replied, "Myself, evidently."

[abaraxas]

Paddy is making his return to the boxing circuit, and goes to the doctor for a physical.

The doctor says to him "well Paddy,youve got Sugar Diabetes"

With violence in his eyes, Paddy asks- "when do I fight the black cunt?"

[ronws]

I didn't want to get arrested for lewd behavior in public. So, I try to get invited into people's homes.
 

[DJ Axl]

When I'm bored, I like to switch the baby monitors on and make pretend crying noises into the one upstairs.

My wife's never seen the funny side though, especially since the baby died of cot death

Thats a bit too far

[DJ Axl]

If a blonde and an emo jump off a bridge, who drowns first?
The blonde- from the emo’s tears on the way down.