I accidentally saw my Dad performing oral sex last night. I told him the blindfold wasn't tight enough
I went to a charity event for women born without legs. Should have seen the dance floor, it was crawling with fanny!
I was sucking off my new Thai bride last night, when I thought.........Han g on a fuckin' minute.
Pakis are like empty coke cans in the street. They haven't done nothing wrong, but every time you see one, you just want to kick the fucker!!
Having sex with a council estate girl, there's nothing worse than
looking down and seeing a split condom hanging off your knob, especially when you weren't wearing one when you started