The Second Coming's Thread of Distaste

[Kusksu]

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

[The Second Coming]

There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having sex on a bench.

The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?" The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."

The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having sex. Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."

The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?" Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"

She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."

 

That was hilarious though

[The Second Coming]

I got really fucked last night and ended up doing things to my sister.

I don't know what was worse, me fingering her, or finding my dads wedding ring up there.

[ronws]

A guy who installs suspended ceilings with acoustical tile once told me that he thought his roommate was gay. Unfortunately, I asked him why he thought that. He said, "Well, his dick tastes like shit."

[The Spaghetti Incident?]

When I was young, I had a book called "Truly Tasteless Jokes." And they were.

You hear about the new german microwave?

It seats 10.

 

[The Second Coming]

Paddy says to Murphy "Ive been chattin to a 14yr old girl on the internet, she is funny, sexy and flirty. Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.. How cool is that at her age?!"

[Kusksu]

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

[The Second Coming]

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm.
His wife is lying in bed reading.
Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."
Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep."
Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

[ronws]

If you go to your family reunions to pick up dates, you might be a redneck.

If your family tree has only one branch, you might be a redneck.

The definition of a virgin in Arkansas (during the tenure of then Gov. Bill Clinton) is someone who can run faster than the governor.

[ronws]

Something to give ya'll a mental image:

Lick the gooey cheese from the hot, steaming crack of my hairy, sweaty anus and chew upon my red, puffy hemorrhoids.

[Kusksu]

I was asked to run a marathon and I said, "no chance."
Then I was told it was for spastic and blind kids, so I thought, "Fuck it. I could win that!"

[ronws]

Why are people afraid to tell deaf jokes? It's not like a person likely to be offended could hear them.

[Max_Power]

but they can read them on the internet.

[The Second Coming]

So Jesus was crucified on Good Friday and rose from the dead on the Sunday?

Just in time for half price Easter eggs. Typical fucking Jew. 

[ronws]

The reason the new polish navy has glass-bottom ships?

So they can see the old polish navy.