A co-worker of mine played (american) football in high school. For those of you not familiar with it, it's rugby for sissies because we wear padding and helmets. Anyway, at the start of every season, a player must undergo a physical examination from his doctor, which includes checking for inguinal hernias (turn your head and cough) and prostate exam and perineal hernia exam (bend over and relax). During the latter, his doctor would say "If you feel one hand on your shoulder, you're okay. If you feel two hands on your shoulder, look out."
Sidenote, I played football in 9th grade. During off-season, we would play rugby with a soccer ball. It played like rugby except that you had to kick the ball across the goal line to score. It was the only time I was injured with a sprained hand, which would never be padded, even in season.
