Anyone Else But Me(lyrics I'm working on)

[Dirty Dawg]

This is the first full song I've ever wrote.Tell me what you think:


You have no regrets and you have no shame
Your to blame for my pain
Yo
You try to think that I don't know shit
Even though I'm clearly down with it
Yo
You say that you love me
Say that you want me
But you can't even spare a day
You don't know how I feel
But why should I stay
When your away


CHORUS x3:
All that I can see you'd rather be...
With anyone else but me

Don't try to..
Deny it
Hide it
You wont get to me so try it
No more will I be weak
You use the illusion that we're a couple
Even though its never me
But without a doubt
My patience ran out
Your no good for me
Because...

CHORUS x3
Your all that I wanted
Why must you treat me this way
I can't take this anymore
Not one god damn day
You don't really care about me...
So why don't you set me free

(solo)

CHORUS x8

I'm sorry for you
Sorry for me
But this is the way things have to
Be...
 

[gunner22]

I may sound dumb, but I can see so many GNR elements in that.

I'll think a bit more about it and then I'll tell you what I think of it.

[Dirty Dawg]

Anyone else care to share?

[gunner22]

Ok man, I liked that lyrics. It's good, it has a message, it talk about love/break-up etc. but in any moment it sounds cheesy.

Just explains the YOs, it's gonna like a rap thing or kinda like in Scraped?

[Dirty Dawg]

Ok man, I liked that lyrics. It's good, it has a message, it talk about love/break-up etc. but in any moment it sounds cheesy.

Just explains the YOs, it's gonna like a rap thing or kinda like in Scraped?

Its kinda like a slow metal song. I thinks of it as a cross between Comings Undone by Corn and Anywhere I Roam by Metallica.Theres some rapping

[gunner22]

Hey man, bring the song whenever it's done.

[Casino321]

I liked 'em 

Kinda agree with Gunner though, that there's some GnR elements in there, but its still pretty cool.