oh shadow, you're very brave !!Andy Rose: Reply #39 on: Today at 04:12:50 PM
it takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. I think (or I imagine, to be more accurate) that the hardest part of being gay is not to face society, your family of your friends. the hardest part of being gay is to face yourself... to admit that you're different is something that not any person is ready to do.
I talk of experience. not because I'm gay (yet hahah), because I'm a complex person too. I have my "issues" and I'm different... sometimes I feel like I'm going against the tide and it's so tiresome
by the way... how did you know you were gay? were you always like that, since you were a kid or did you feel you started to change at some point of your adolescence?
well ive never had a female friend really. maybe this is just the shity luck that ive always had with girls. i mean, i was asked out a good bit in high school and i did have a girlfriend about 5 1/2 years ago, but that was a time when i was still going through my own shit and she knew i was confused about being gay or not when she met me. i never came to full terms with it until i met her and then she helped me confirm it. but unlike the situation i gave earlier, she did not use me. if anything she pulled me out of a bad situation and saved me and helped me see me for who i was. she was the first person who ever did that for me.
girls always say that im so handsome and strong looking.... they can't seem to understand why im gay (as some of them put it). i tell them that i just feel more comfortable around male manurisms and men than woman and their nature. im a very emotional person, so having a boyfriend is what i feel i need. i dont mean i need a boyfriend who's as big as that chinese long haired guy i posted in the candyman thread, no i just feel i need that male presence, but to those of you who wander, yes i always had a dad. having a boyfriend makes me feel secure and happy. With girls i feel understood, but i also feel probed or something. women are always investigating, it gets tiresome. i just feel more at ease and happy with a guy, i feel complete.
-Well this is how i see things, hope i didn't offend anyone. just sharing my views is all.