yeah i changed the last two lines, i much like it better that way. thanks man! i have another one, probably the last one ill post for a while. but check it out as well (Dying Passion Sanctuary).
Has everyone forgotten about this old one i posted:
Something To Read
buzzing in throughout the air,
tiny electric waves...directions of sight.
taking it all in and swelling to the brink,
everyone remembers everything,
so locked down tight.
freedom is a paradox,
it is enigma.
it is blind ambition,
nothing short of impossible.
greater, in todays world, is the focus,
than the image.
miscredit and overated,
this realm is of birth and death.
a thousand elaphants to hundreds of galons,
despiration well winning triumphantly over inspiration and passion.
damnation of a generation,
collapse of identity.
kamilians maybe be the capitalists...
...but its those elaphants that give birth.