Zakk Wylde's riffs are what killed the dinosaurs.
Every time Zakk Wylde points to the sky another Berserker gets their wings
Zakk Wylde really does bleed Black Label.
Zakk Wylde once puched his way through a brick wall with his bare hands to get to Dave Grohl.
Zakk Wylde's shaking his head 'no' headbanging style is the only means to stop a Chuck Norris round house kick.
Zakk Wylde made the producers of the movie 'Rock Star' change the name from 'Metal God' because the movie wasn't about Zakk Wylde.
When Zakk Wylde rejoined Ozzy, it caused John Holmes to be born again.
Chuck Norris has only cried once, and that one time was when Zakk Wylde played the Star Spangled Banner.
Zakk Wylde keeps Ozzy's body animated through pure brewtality.
Zakk Wylde's skull ring is the actual skull of an Emo kid.
The BLS colors never run, because nothing can escape Zakk Wylde.
Zakk Wylde never hits a wrong note, sometimes the notes just scream in pain from Zakk Wylde's meaty grip.
Zakk Wylde uses Ibanez RG series guitars as toothpicks.
Zakk Wylde's guitar strings are made from the remains of a World War II battleship.
Zakk Wylde once had poofy hair, but that was because Zakk Wylde's hair was afraid of Zakk Wylde's riffs.
Zakk Wylde's guitar picks are made from Fred Durst's finger nails.
The Pentatonic scale is now known as the Zakk Wylde scale.
Zakk Wylde's arm bands are made from the skins of Emo kids.
Zakk Wylde doesn't play the Recorder.
Zakk Wylde's air spit was used in the first Gulf War to shoot down Iraqi SCUD missiles.
Zakk Wylde doesn't play pinched harmonics, that is the guitar squealing from the pain of Zakk Wylde's grip.
Zakk Wylde doesn't play the guitar, he commands it to play notes.
Zakk Wylde's circulatory system is a fully functioning heinekin microbrewery.
zakk wylde wipes his ass with his beard.he is that manly
the only way to survive a chuck norris punch is to be wearing a bulletproof vest made out of woven zakk wylde facial hair hardened with a beer-based paste.
Zakk's blood alcohol level remains at a constant .9 level. What's the other .1 you ask? The tears of all those he's slain.
Chuck Norris' beard fears only one thing. Zakk Wylde's beard.
Zakk Wylde doesn't die, he only gets another stompbox endorsement.
Zakk Wylde has only laughed once. That one time is when Zakk Wylde first heard Smells Like Teen Spirit on the radio.
Zakk Wylde's guitars are made of iron.
If Zakk Wylde 2006 met Zakk Wylde 1987, Zakk Wylde would win.
Zakk Wylde's guitar strap is the anchor chain from the Japanese battleship Yamato.
Zakk Wylde is lactose intolerant.
Zakk Wylde can fly by swinging his guitar over his head.
Zakk Wylde doesn't get sunburns, Zakk Wylde burns the Sun.
Zakk Wylde's carpet matches the curtains.
Zakk Wylde punched Ralph Macchio in the mangina at The Crossroads.
The only thing Yngwies regime bows to is Zakk Wylde
"Crazy Babies" is actually Zakk Wylde's autobiography of his early years
An internet inside-joke is no longer an "in-joke" when Zakk Wylde knows about it.
Zakk Wylde's Finger calouses are the only known protection against a punch from chuck norris, in fact if the two should ever connect the resulting backlash would not only destroy chuck norris but the resulting fallout would seriously damage both jean claude van dam and steven seagal
I Just found em so damn funny I Thought i'd put em here
